Reassurance

How am I supposed to say this. Explain my confusion and doubts.

I'm not going to put my everything into something if I am not %110 sure it's beneficiol from all angles and sides.

I don't have the experience to make this decision rashly, or in anyway have the additude of "just do it" and see what'll come from it.

I am not one to make mistakes freely and on a whim.
I do not play the games of feelings and desires.

Playing by a game board, that is done and made by those who want a one way path, for something to do when they're bored. Travels and experience only varrying to each individual by how many spaces one goes each round. Only for the game to end with them no farther than where they first began in their actual life.

I do not want to go by a flimbsy, wavering board of paper.
I need real, truthful and serious ways about a motion such as putting my everything, emotion and time wise into one person.

This isn't even something I feel a need for, so I have no motivation to put myself into a moment or situation of feelings for desires, bliss and unsenseable words and promises to another person of attraction.

I have goals, beliefs and opinions of how I will live and go about my life. And I haven't spared room for dragging someone along with me for the ride and whatever extra things I may get from it.

I find it unnecessary, or at least not an absolute necessity for my life to go about it's travels.

I have lived my life day by day perfectly alive and well without one to throw myself into arms of cuddles, selfsatifying words of encouragament and pointless actions of affection.

I had no need, and have no need for something I can, and may forever live without.

I do not say this despite you, or that I have no interest at all. Infact I am and do have an interest, that is why I am showing concern. Are you serious, will you promise me your all, to never just drop me like a day old emotion that only lingers for but a moment?

For my first time considering to even think about putting my all into one person.
You should be putting just as much thought into this as I am.
I guess that should be the answer. If I am sweating about all this on my own, without you braking a sweat of extra thought. You're simply not willing, or ready to put the time into what it takes for me to feel confident and comfortable in the idea of all that I am resting in your hands.

This is hard, and I actually had hope. But I will not be investing all my hopes, future and desires upon you. I will hold out for who knows, when you're actually able to take the time, effort and thought it takes to keep and please me (lol). But I do not see that happening, if one is not right for me now when we have first met, they will not be right for me later on. That is simply what I believe.

But this goes both ways, if you are not good for me, I am not good for you. It is in both of our interest to not get started before anything has even begun.