Inner Child

Living day to day has gotten exhausting. Though my recent unhealthy sleeping habit could prove to be the problem.

Again, I'm at a wall. Like always, taking my dear time making even one small movement to getting somewhere.

I've been hating. Holding hatred and resentment for everyones actions surrounding me.
The pointlessness of all these interactions of people in my life, that do nothing but complicate things.

I over burden myself of how others will feel, and react to each and every word, action and way I express myself.

I want everyone to be happy, or at least never have it be my fault for doing or causing one to harbor negitive feelings.

But you know what, sometimes I feel like yelling, sreaming and cussing out everyone and anyone that hurts me and causes me frustration. So for once, I can feel relieved, and not always being the one looking out for everyone keeping so much of myself under so many layers.
Can't someone else take care of me, and let me freak out and just let go of my pain? Allow me to cry, get upset and act like a child. A child I haven't been for so long.

Someone that I can trust won't start beating me down inside and out because they don't want to hear it, don't know how to handle it and don't even bother to try.

I'm so tired of being the strong one. The one in silence just there to listen. I'm breaking, over so much time I have been kept queit. Pushed into the corner silently waiting for someone to ask, are you okay? Honestly and whole heartedly accepting all and any respone that could come from me.

I just want someone to listen, and want to listen. Purely trying to help and care for me. Why, why does if feel I don't have anyone for me that is capable or willing to doing this for me?

Sometimes it helps to feel sorry for yourself, heh. Enough so, that your tears and pain will start to spill. And there is nothing more uplifting than after pouring out your emotions that have been conceild for a period of time.

I can do this. Even one my own, I'm alive and well. And emotions can go ahead and shove it.