Attitude

Lol, now normally I would never put a "lol" in one of my blogs, but this truly calls for one.

My last couple of post are full of attitude~
Which I think is quite hilarious, because to me, attitude feels a bit off from my typical self. I think the only one I do it to most; would be my mom (like most). Even when I do, I regret it not too long after.

I'm simply not the type to give a bad attitude to others on a daily bases or often enough to feel comfortable doing it. Don't think I'm saying I'm an angel and never get in a bad mood and act out towards others.
I admit. On occasions, I have given attitude to those close to me; like family members and loved ones to the point where it was uncalled for. I am indeed human.

Though when it comes to those I don't really know, and they happen cause me stress, frustration. Acting towards me with crude, mean actions, throwing whatever hurtful words my way; I'd probably (and have) start(ed) crying before I'd ever stick up for myself to say anything back, or give "attitude".

I'm not too sure why, it should be instinct to defend yourself when you feel endangered by another. But maybe that's the answer right there. Perhaps it is percisely because I do not feel endangered by others words of objection, bashing and disapproval. So I do not act, I stay silent and let them say what they please. Go ahead, hurt my feelings, it will not kill me. It'll only make me stronger.

It is better that the idiots that cannot control their emotions well enough to know they shouldn't act out and say such hurtful things to others, to lash out on me rather than others. Others that are unstable themselves. We'd make absolutely no progress, if we were to try and hurt the person that is trying to hurt us, it'll simply create an unending cycle with no resolve.

Don't get me wrong, just because I will not stand up for myself (in most cases) that doesn't mean I do not know how to. Nor does it mean I won't, if I'm pushed too far or if it's on behalf of someone else that is getting bullied by another, you can bet your life on the fact that I will stand up, take a stand for what needs to stop and who needs defending.

I have yet to experience a serious enough situation to flex and exercise my defencive and fighting capabilities, but maybe that's a good thing. Whichever it is, I am capable and I'll make sure of that.

Life View

What does it mean to be alive? What is the actually definition, is it simply having the capability to breathe? You cannot tell me that is all. There's more, so much more.
 

I don't need to prove there's more to us than just having fuctioning bodies. It's such a strong feeling in all of us, that there has to be something more to living than just being here. Life is far from pointless.

Seeing how others treat themselves, and others. Believing themselves to be of no worth or value. Constantly putting themselves down, thinking they don't have the knowledge, skills, and whatever else they believe is needed to be considered "worth something".

It's sad, it is. Because each and everyone of us is different, has something to provide this life, this world with something new and inspiring.

Believing you can't do or be something causes you to act as such, in which you only become and act exactly as a worthless life. You treat yourself and life in general according on how you see it.
Please change your way of thinking if you are living this life as anything other than what it is, and life is a blessing.

Do You Live in the Truth? Or the Lie?

Nights are usually when I have all the time in the world to think endlessly for as long as I can stay up. Which is why this night I am feeling the need to write, write as much as I can to at least try and organize my thoughts, and feelings.

Though they don't normally end up making a lot sense, since they are my deep thoughts and feelings that have been so deeply covered, that when brought to the surface it's tough to distinguish what exactly I'm facing being the first time seeing them in the light.

Words are hard to come by to explain, these emotions and thoughts are foreign and nothing I've come across so far.
Soon they'll be acknowledged by myself, and known as a part of me. BUT if they are deemed unworthy and not who I want to make apart of me. They are cast out with time, effort and taken away by God. He takes away the dark, negitive, unclean and sinful thoughts and emotions that I can no longer push down and coupe with.

I want peace, love, forgiveness, understanding, wisdom, grace, mercy, a long life, happiness, joy, confidence, etc. Anything of the opposite, I want nothing of it.
Oh I know it's there, I know it's going to try it's hardest to become me. To make me believe it's apart of me and there's no getting ride of it.

But I will not let the lies of the enemy break me. Satan's darkness has no power in my life, for I am the Lord's. God has made me to do great things, to have a life of joy, happiness, a long and prosprous life. I have accepted the truth and not the lie.

My Next Turn

I believe now is the time that my life takes on a new form,
something I have yet to understand or imagine is making it's way into my life script.

I cannot say I'm prepared metally and emotionaly yet, but I do know I'm not alone and I will make it through stronger, wiser and more prosperous.

What I need now is prayer, support and acceptance. This could very well impact not only my life, but all of those connected to me. With every ounce of life I have, I will pray to make this change a blessing to us and open our eyes to something more than ourselves.

Help us to become more united and understanding of one another.
No more rejection, uncertainty and judgment. I will know and find those who truly love and are there for me. I will not fear or be broken, for the Lord is my guidence, strength, protector, comforter and provider for all my needs.

I may be young, but I know more of what I am capable of than you. So trust me when I say I can do this and everything will work out. Because I will not allow any to bash my sprirt, if you feel that is your duty and responsibility to bring me down. I will cast you out of my life, I do not need any such darkness looming over my future and decisions. Negitive and damning words are not allowed here.

If you wish to be of true help, be glad, accepting, loving and of good faith. Because it is in the Lord's hands, and the best you can do is to accept that and live on believing and speaking only words of good things to come.

I hope you all accept not only me but the Lord, because without him you can do no good in my life. I will hold to the Lord with everything I am, be diligent forever seeking after his word, guidence and heart.

Go ahead and deny me if this change in my life is too much for you to bare and you want no part in it. Because even without you I am not alone.

Way of Life

There are those who run towards death, living day to day.
Those that follow the motto's of "YOLO" and live as if there is no tomorrow, using their body to it's breaking point, setting themselves up so they cannot live a long or healthy life.
Going along with whatever rash, reckless or irresponsible idea they themselves or others can muster up to keep the "party" going until they feel they've dug themselves deep enough to feel they've accomplished everything they could in one day.

Yet they never face their true turmoil's and unresolved situations and relationships in their lives. Like one would actually do if they would die tomorrow. So in short, they are running towards death, avoiding facing the things that would actually make themselves and their lives meaningful. "YOLO" has because an excuse to those that don't want to face life and move forward.

Then there are those that aspire to live to the best of their abilities.
Setting themselves up for success, every dream they've ever dreamt or idea they felt would serve enough purpose to see through, they accomplish it.
They are patient. If their goal means enough to them they will see it threw whether it takes 3 to 10 years to see it become what they've always hoped.
They make and work for what they have, and are not afraid to give it their all. Because they want to make their life count.

Last but not least there are those of us that live simply because they are alive.
In my opinion is the very example of the living dead. The worst out of the two, these people have no will or desire.
Do not become their own person, or try to achieve and reach for great things. They don't have any significant opinions, thoughts or beliefs to live their life as any individual would.
It's like they've lost or have never known the beauty of life. There is no flame in their eyes, only that of a routine of daily rituals of no great importance or meaning, and they dont bother to think why they do what they do.

I cannot think of another life style, they all seem to fall under one of the three, or perhaps a type of combination.
But now I believe it is the time to ask yourself this;
which life have you chosen?

The End.

Though life will continue after today, tomorrow and the next. If it were all to end, these are my last statements I'd like to leave everyone with;
I love you, and I am sorry. I could have done so much more. My main regret is not loving enough and focusing on myself more than others. I didn't live up to what I knew and know I am capable of, and didn't encourage you/everyone half as much as I should have. To help you realize, that you are utterly amazing and I have always wanted to express that to the point you'd actually understand. You will never be worthless or unneeded. Because you are unlike any other, you are your own. That in itself is everything, anything and incredible. My heart will always go out for you, whether I know your life story or not, you are like me. Human, imperfect and just trying to be accepted, find a place you feel you belong and loved. So live, and live strong. For you are the one and only you, but you are and will never be alone

We Were Created

Do our hearts really go out to others as much as they should?
How often do we have a thought purely for the best interest of others?

Would you hold out a hand for one that is struggling in life, emotions, physical health or mental stability?
To what extent is too much for you to go out of your way for another life?

I can't say I've always been thoughtful and gone out of my way for others. But I can say it happens more often than not.
Holding doors open, treating others,  compliments, going out of your way to let someone know they are noticed and taking that extra time that you could've been sleeping to listen to someone's troubles, worries or thoughts.

If anything I've been observing the fact that part of why the generations have been falling like they have, is because of the individuals idea that it is everyone for themselves. There is no out reached hands of guidance from prior generations, I feel as though they keep to themselves without descripted explanation as to why not and to do something.

If we all really cared, for anything other than our selves. Our entire way of life would of progressed much more effectively.

We need to care about others, and that will have such an unimaginable positive effect, that at this time it's hard to even imagine.