The Present

It has been a long day. Not only for myself; I'm sure.
I wish, I pray, and I continue to look on to better days. With no attention to spare for the past.

My memorie is bad. Or so I thought. It could be the fact that I so often have my mind elsewhere and do not pay any mind to what's going on around me. That I simply have nothing to recall but the life I live in my head.

I hope to be content, to enjoy and flourish in every day, hour and minute I am alive. And look the present straight in the face as I walk the path of day to day life.

So I use my time accordingly. And stop always trying to run ahead; ignorent to the time it takes to blossom and achieve whats needed. Like understanding, wisdom, expeirence and patience.

Life is time, time in which we part in multiple pieces to make manageable. When in one whole glump of time; it becomes over whelming. Unorganized and sloppy. Unknowing which to be your main focus first, what should be done in what order and how long each action will take. It builds up, and soon you begin to believe you won't be able to achieve all your necessary goals in life.

That is why you stick with focusing on what you have right in front of you. Lot less likely to get side tracked or stuck in an unnecessary situation.

I have no idea why I felt the need to state this whole explanation. But it's just how I roll; I must always make things long and drawn out. Common ground in my life.

Study Before You Teach

What you believe doesn't make you who you are. It's how you choose to live and the choices you make.

But what belief has to do with that; is supposebly what you believe has influence over the choices you make. Is that true for you? Are you stepping into action for what you say you believe? Or are you simply using a title, and living anyway YOU feel. Opposed to everything your statements and words lead on.

Don't bash your "belief". It may not be hurting you any, but for the people that truely put their all into what they say they stand for. It means more than you understand. If you're going to speak up and say you believe in something, you better be sure you have the knowledge to back it up.

Let's stand up, and really start learning what it means to believe, or stand by a certain cause we think is right. You get no where being wishy-washy.

Let's grow up, get wisdom, understanding and patience. Before we go opening our mouths to something we don't even know the half of.

It's common sense. Simple steps like; one two three.

You always study; before you teach/preach.

What Have We Become

Ever feel you could do amazing things. And the next day you promise yourself you'll take that step into doing and becoming what you've always wanted.
Being strong, outgoing and be the leader for once. To stand up, raise your hand and not care what anyone thinks. To just state your beliefs and opinions with courage.

Not always second guessing yourself 'til you realize you haven't said more than a couple words the whole day, or only spoke when you were spoken to.
And you always end up braking the promise; because you simply didn't feel like it, or just didn't have it in ya when it came to turning those words into action.

What happened to bravery, independence, and courage? We simply do what others tell us is right, and just follow and accept it as just the way things are. We never ask the questions that need to be brought up, or give the other options a chance to come out that need to be shown.
There is never just one way. Not one path to travel but thousands, and every path chosen should only depend on each and every individual.

In school, you never realize how much you are looked down on, disrespected, and pushed into one narrow way of seeing things because most everyone has dealt with it since a young age. And we depend on the adults to guide us, to teach us, show us wisdom we have not yet obtained. And well I guess you could say they're doing that, but to only one extent. Only one view, option and way of believing. And everything keeps getting all the more compressed into one little category with every generation.

What do we really know of freedom? Other than what we're told, shown, and have to compare it to. We've gotten so used to being spoon fed learning everything we know, believe, and even feel.

What have we ever researched for ourselves or thought that maybe there are other options. To every matter, choice and way of life. There is always multiple different stories, views, and opinions. And for far to long, we've only been getting one.

And we're just supposed to go along, not to oppose to a thing. And just believe who ever is feeding you this stuff; actually knows what they're talking about. And has tried it all for their self.

I bet what they know has just been passed down from one person to the next, not bothering to question or think to find a different way for themselves. Not ever trying out another option. Or even considering there are other options.

We've become so lazy, mindless, and have barely even realized how much life is and supposed to be.
Life is supposed to be a blessing, something to be thankful for with every passing day. Not something you feel is not worth it, and can be thrown away like an outdated electronic.

We've stopped caring to work to build and achieve something for ourselves and our lives. Like we aren't worth the effort.

Will we even realize what the truly important things are before it's lost. We'll we just wait for the day we can't do anything about it anymore.

Will we change and take that leap before it's too late. Will we make it in time? How much time do we have? How much time do you have?

To Go Backwards

Getting free time all to yourself in the morning always starts me thinking and has me feel that... This day should go somewhere, a change should occer. A feeling of another journey has begun; the feeling of adventure. But after the day has ended time and time again I've felt I must have got something wrong, took a wrong turn or I'm simply living the wrong life.

I don't think a day gone by just like the one before it; is normal, or even right.
I've never felt in my right place. I've been living the wrong way for to long. I need my life, the one I know I was meant to have... I need change, renewal and just a complete new start. While being guided this time, you know? Shown the right choices and paths I am and was supposed to take, to get to that point where I feel this is the life I was born to live.

But what I'd like to know at this point is, even with all these mistakes I've made, and all the wrong turns... Am I still able to get to my ultimit destination from where I stand today? Will a couple right turns overwrite the wrong ones? Is it possible to just turn around?

How much effort will it take? Am I truely serious enough to get where I want and need to be; no matter what effort and time it takes? When will I be tired and sick enough of this way of living 'til I finally make the right choice? Why must I be so weak as to take the easy way of life. Over the right way. The effort shouldn't matter. Because anything that's worth it; takes effort. You'd think we'd all know and mature by now to do what's right for ourselves and all around us.

How much longer 'til I can get myself to move...

Care To Say No

I do care, about everything. I'm strong enough to say I do.
In reality we all really care it's just that we are to scared to stand up and admit to it. If we were to admit this fact, it'd mean we'd have to do something about it. And when have we really did something at all, with everything we had, do we even know what our everything is?

We run away far to often, saying "I don't care". We shouldn't be afraid of what needs to be done, what your emotions are or will be.
It's better than standing in the gray never standing strong to anything.
We've all learned to run from things that take effort, time, and thought.
I hate not being straight forward and assuming things simply because we're afraid to ask the people in question face to face what it is we're not sure of.

I'm sick of so many things and this is only one. There are tons of things we as humans need to work on, but what I see too often, is people not even bothering to notice or care to consider these simply fix flaws that could make a big difference if we just, think, consider, and stand up to what is actually right.
No matter the effort and time it takes.

Why is it so hard to do what's right? It makes me sick that I myself run away from the right things to do, only becuase I didn't feel like it, or because since my "friends" aren't doing I shouldn't have to. It's STUPID.

When I do what's wrong, the regret and ill emotions towards myself are ten times worse than what I'd ever effort and time it would've taken to of just done what was right!

So right now I am fessing up to my stupidity, no more denying and ignoring my wrongs. It can be all too easy to avoid your wrongs when everyone you know is doing the ecact same things. Makes you feel less guilty huh? But just because something's accepted, doesn't make it right.

I'm done being blinded by my foolish pride. I'm going to do my best to speak, act and accomplish what is right. Lord, please give me the strength. What is impossible for men is possible with the Lord our God.

Breaking All Molds

I hope we actually know what it is that we live for, live by and who we are.
Is what we believe and choose, decided because we have actually thought for ourselve if this is the direction we want take? Or have we simply accepted others beliefs and opinions as our own without second a thought?
Have most of us even had a second thought as to how we live out our lives? With every choice that we make? Without the influence of others in mind and the considering what is "normal"?
We shouldn't have to strain ourselves and direct who we are, what we do and what choices we make based off of what others think. Or how they might think of you if they see you doing what you truly want to do and who you are. Break the mold and live without a care for how others might judge you.

Your life has nothing to do with what life is in general. We are not meant to live the same. I want my own way of life, unattached to others rules and "that's just the way it goes". I want and need to brake away from the worlds way, from my own views, beliefs as to what is what, and part with my own inclosed world. My eyes need to be opened to something bigger than myself than everything I am surrounded by. There is more than 'this' and us. I strive to find and live for that. For something bigger than myself. I want life, my own life. As a free; independent individual. Unaffected by others words, opinions and objection. How can one do anything for themselves if they aren't confident enough to stand up for themselves and their choices. Your made who you are by the choices you made and will make, if you keep yourself from doing anything, just because of others objection to who you are and choose to be. Than you will never have the life that you were and are meant to live.