Within the Soul

Tired of looking at screens, phones, walls through these lifeless and weary eyes.
It's 'bout time I stand up, and fight, for what life once was.
There's only confusion, pointlessness for the time being wasted in what we call "fun"...
I pray it has only begun, for a riot, for  change, for all people to know what life is again.
To be filled, empowered by the truth light and guide.
The word, its answers, sayings, and life.
The voice we all have, to use and understand.
The fire, greatness that lives in our renewed times.
That passion, excitement, and motivation to wake every passing day, hour, and second.
Hearing, seeing, and feeling.
What we have been asking, waiting, begging, and crying for.
Life, what is life?
We will only know ‘til the day that we are shown it.
'Til the day we truly seek it.
There will be no doubts, no second thoughts in believing.
Because there is no lie in truth, truth is power, and that power will shock us all to tears.
We will all lift up our hands, voices, and finally.
Open our eyes.
Amen.

Lost My Touch

I'm having a writers block… (if that's what it's called).

So many times I've tried to write something, it always starts out fine but than I lose focus and what it was really about in the first place, like "what is the point here??" They never make perfect sense, even for me!
It's all so stressful; I really need to get my head straight. I haven't been able to cool down for awhile; I don't know what to do. I'm going to blame this stupid computer screen; it's making me unable to focus or something... Yeah I'll blame the computer.

Well aside from all the jokes, I don't have much of an answer to my dilemma. So for a heads up I won't be writing anything real until I get out of this idiotic block. So for now, I'll be sippin' tea, chill-ax-in' reading a good book. I'll try to get back in action soon.

Bad Days

For the last couple days I haven't been having the best of times. Mainly for the reason of all the mess and junk I've been having to deal and work through to obtain something I have a longing for.

At this time in my life there are only a few things I really really want. Main thing is; to have time alone, to recollect myself, my thoughts and find that state of peace. Second is being able to get out and go to find that solitude.

Everything else I want revolves around that. Which are things like, having a license, maybe a phone, and having my own room. Today I'm greatly frustrated and I feel as though everone's going out of their way to make it so I can't have time to myself!
Okay, let's take a deep breath. I'll try not get too narror minded here. There are bigger and more important things out there than my little stresses in daily life.

I know out of all the problems in the world and in peoples lives; mine are not even close to being the largest. So there is no excuse for me to waste my day being bitter and depressed.
Though sometimes I know it's tough to see that, and all you want to do is feel free to be mad, sad, pissed and have a tantrum to wallow in self pity. Don't deny it, we've all had our "it's all about me" days.

We all know it's terribly annoying and fist clenching when someone around us has their their head up their ass, only looking at how they feel and what they want. With absolutely no consideration for others around them.
That's what we're like when we choose to focus on our wants, our needs and what's not working out for us. It blinds us to what's truly important and causes us to not only get a pissy attitude but impacts our surroundings and others in a negitive way.
The only one that can stop yourself from thinking and acting a certain way is you, and yes, you can do what's right. Don't start lying and making that excuse for yourself that you can't do this and you can't do that. If it involves you, yes you can! You have a free will and you are the only that can control what you do and how you choose to act like with it.

Today, I choose not to be an ass.

What I'm Doing Here

I feel the need to state; this is where I freely express myself, which I do not prefer any of these three things. One: being judged. Two: Belittled. And Three: Commented on what to do, what I should say or how I should write.

This is my blog; I did not make it to seem helpless, asking people for advice. Nor did I make it to be ridiculed for anything or everything. I write how I write.
So please if you find yourself getting irritated by how I write and sentence; by all means you do not have to continue reading. And by all means do not feel obligated to inform me of your disapproval.

Believe me I am in no way intending to take away your right to be in control of your own actions and decisions. Just the same as you nor anyone else has the right to tell me how I choose to express myself through this blog, or anything I write/speak.

This is simply to quench my thirst I have to write, and that's that. Of course I'd love to attract those like-minded to myself and bring interesting topics and opinions for others to ponder.
Knowing I'm offering something beneficial to others always gives me a feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.

Challenges to Overcome

You know, I've been reading all my post and a thought came to me. They all have something similar, like me talking about the same things, a recurring subject. I thought there's no helping it, me being the same person writing every time; it's probably like a writing style or something.
Yet again... it could very well be a recurring subject because that I'm still dealing with it in my life, it is a hill I have yet to conquer.

There are only so many ways I can rewrite the same thing, I'd like to have a new fresh subject every time, but I guess I have to accomplish, and overcome the things which I'm dealing with now, to come up with something different. You're only able to write about what's going on in your mind.

It makes sense, but I wish it were easier.
No matter how big or small a problem, it'll always takes time and effort to over come it and move on leaving it behind.

It's like trying to deal with a person you absolutely cannot stand, If you really want to get ride of them and out of your life completely. You must first learn and find the best method of dealing with them. It's similar to a battle, proceeding to root up the whole connection of how they latched on you to begin with. It takes longer than we'd all like, but all in all you get it done if you're determinded to.
I know once or twice we've all had to deal with someone like that, and if not count yourself lucky.

I've always been a fighter, when it really comes down to it. My perferred fights are those fought head on. Just remember every battle we choose to take on, and push ourselves to see through. The stronger we become. Let's not forget the old and very true saying; "choose your battles wisely", not all battles are worth fighting.
I won't give up, you heard me say it once, and I'll say it again. I will fight for what I want, and I won't give up 'til I get it. And what I want is to go forward in my writing, so that is what I'll do. Amen!

Misunderstood

Not being able to express yourself to others hurts in more ways than one. Knowing, that someone close to you (or that should be) is looking at you through their eyes which see you in one certain way, or label you to who they believe you are to some extent. Simply, how they see you as a person. And in no way possible can that be exactly right. Which cause misunderstandings, and others simply assuming what your going to do, what you think. And it never leads to good feelings knowing you are being made out to be who you aren’t, even if it was a little assumption or misjudgment. It still hurts.

But, we all do it. Because every human tries to understand people in their own way, and sadly it’s not usually asking that certain person directly of what they think, what they like or at all of whom they are. So we usually rely on what we can observe, and pick up from what we see, and what we've heard. And that, I’ve got to say is not a good habit, because for one: people are so much more than from what you can grasp on what’s on the outside, or even what you can find out by simply watching, or those little meaningless questions that are thrown out there in those everyday shallow conversations. It takes effort to know, actually come to know someone. There is only so much you can get by observing and it isn't enough.

So what I’m saying, is don’t depend so much on what you can find out by observing alone, because there is still so much more than what is on the surface.
But in no way is observing bad, it is a very wise thing to come and be good at, but I’m saying is don’t rely on it to find out all the things in which a person is about, you will never end up making close and real relationships with anyone. You have to go directly to that person, say “Hi” and ask questions. You can’t expect people to just lay out their entire being without even being asked, make some real effort if you actually want the right to judge anyone.