Self Loathing

I am not one with a full understanding of how to express oneself through words.

My sentences are bland and paragraphs are emotionless.

If I were to try and tell you, I miss, love and care for you. I would sound like nothing other than a robot reciting an odd 70’s poem.

Perhaps it is my heart, not only through words but in person. My heart is fearful and hides behind every expression and gesture I can muster up to make it so my true colors aren’t seen.

It is foolish, hiding who I am. This only proves I have guilt or distrust for all my equals of the human race.

I am accepting that we are all human, and for whatever actions and thoughts are behind each individuals way of life. I have no doubt I can come to understand and accept them.

Such a hypocritical thought, acceptance towards all others, yet believing I am unacceptable.

It seems to me I am full of ridiculous contradictions. I long to be understood, yet my actions to becoming understood are nonexistent. This is due to my belief that I am unworthy of self expression towards others.

Am I foolish or simply self loathing? Maybe a bit of both.